Alaska Walkabouts

The adventures of an Alaska Wildlife and Nature Photographer.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Goodbye To You Bryn

 I didn't want to make this post. I wanted my blog to be only good things but life isn't like that. It's a mix of good and bad and this was one of the bad parts. I also question why I am even blogging. I wanted to build a thing of beauty here but I guess in the end I don't believe in censorship and why should I censor myself? I have nothing to hide and maybe someone who sees this, and is going or will go through the same thing, will find some strength knowing that if I can get through it, anyone can. I am not a strong person emotionally and my dogs get me heart and soul. So here goes: My Bryn left me on May 23, 2015 at the age of 13 years and 9 months. Maybe. I never knew his true age but we were close. His chronic pain from arthritis was destroying him. I knew this was coming for a long time but I am not sure why I chose that particular moment other than it had to happen sometime and soon. He was crashing fast and his walks were down to only 100 feet or so. Going outside to potty was almost too much for him. I had some good advice to let him go before he was in agony and I think in another week or two he would have been in spite of all the pain killers. So one morning I called the vet and stepped outside of myself. I know it would be something I had to do at the spur of the moment. I could not have dealt with planning out his death days in advance. My vet opened his office just for us and I will always remember Bryn walking up to the door wagging his tail. He loved visiting the vet's office. I told him "Bryn, you may not want to be in a hurry this time." I don't know how I got through the rest of it but at least I was given all the time I needed to say goodbye. The last I saw of Bryn he was in a deep sleep. I don't know what dogs know or what they don't. I just hope somehow he knows I did not want to do that to him. He has to know how loved he was. Goodbye Bryn!

The last picture taken of me and Bryn. 6 days before he left.